Hot damn it's been a minute

Where do I start? Sorry for being gone so long. So much to catch up on. Where to start?? Well I went to chicago on a widows retreat and had the most amazing time and met some wonderful ladies. I did flying trapeze and ate real deep dish pizza which was so fucking good. Went to mega con and met Jason momoa who could have taken me away right there and I would have been happy as a pig in shit. And as I type I am currently relaxing on my uncles back porch in ft Lauderdale on a mini vacation. But like usual with all the good there has been some bad. Jerry's 30th birthday passed which fucking sucked. A milestone birthday...and here I thought just regular birthdays sucked. I tired to imagine him at 30. Some grumpy old man still playing games and screaming at children. God what I wouldn't give to see him. My brother did buy a cake to celebrate and I cried because it was just so thoughtful. Our wedding anniversary passed a month after that (what fucking genius decided to get married a month after their husband's birthday....oh yea me.oops) but after that brief time of serious depression I jumped on a plane to Chicago to meet other widows which makes me feel better. Wierd I know but picture this. A whole clan of ladies who knows and understands your crazy. It's pretty great. No having to explain why I'm crying and laughing at the same time. Even tho were all different and of different beliefs and backgrounds were all one. I know some hippie shit but I've never claimed to be anything else.
Work has been ok. Some drama going on like usual but that's to be expected working with all women. My biggest fear taking that job was "shit I don't like people especially bitchy women" but not all of them are bitchy so it helps. I just remind myself that I'm there to work and if they want to start shit they're gonna do it whether or not I'm there so it is what it is. Keep to my damn self as best I can and remind the good ones that I'm lucky to have them.
I've been on a weight loss journey too. For someone who treats depression with snacks it has been a hard road. One could say rocky road?? (get it..like the ice cream because I'm a fat piece of shit.. i'm fucking hilarious and you know it). But in all seriousness I've lost quite a bit of weight and I'm proud. Got a ways to go but I'm getting there. 3 of my wonderful friends chipped in for my birthday and gifted me with a new fit bit which was beyond amazing. Such wonderful thoughtful people. Seriously they're amazing. But we've all been competing with my brother included and now we are all getting in shape because were all too competitive. Like seriously I've lost like more than 10 pounds. Thanks awesome friends. I dont deserve you 💜💜
  Athena is doing well. She recently had her check up and they're still concerned about her head but the neuro doc isn't so I gonna listen to the specialist. Shes smart (for the most part...sometimes I worry when she wears my shorts on her head and runs into walls but at least shes pretty) she is learning some sign language, loves sesame street and eats like a horse. Everyone tells me shes gonna be tall so I'm fucked. Thankful I have a really tall friend who is gonna help me with all the tall baby needs.  (Thanks Jack...if you even read this).
Life is ok right now and that's ok. Life can never be perfect when you really miss someone but it can be close and I guess that's where I'm at. I'm as happy as I can be and fuck I'll take it. I'm always gonna have my ups and downs but I feel a little more prepared for them.