Couldn't Make It Up If I Tried

 So last night I decided that I was going to go out with some co-workers to the bars in our very small downtown area for some drinks. Nothing fancy but its been a stressful few months and with the looming threat of Jerry's "angelversary" coming up I decided it would probably be nice to go out with the ladies.
 The night started off wonderfully. We all met up with each other at the main pub in town (and because I dont want to use anyones name just incase they dont want to be known in all of this I will just use letters) So we meet up and M's boyfriend meets some dude in the bathroom and they become besties so were all talking laughing and drinking. Then we decided to visit another friends friend at a bar, had more drinks bullshited, the usual and then we ended up at Meg o Mallys for some food. Our waitress was wonderful and our bartender was a dick. After that we walked around, visited some other bars in the area and then decided to make sure another coworker D got to her car and trying to keep her from making poor decisions. Well heres where the story gets interesting. So on our way were walking and this dude randomly pulls me aside and starts talking to me. Now it is very obvious that he has had some drinks and that he is very emotional. So being concerned I asked "you OK?" to which he responds "NO I AM NOT OK THEY ARE ARRESTING MY FRIEND BECAUSE HE THREW HIS DRINK OUT A SECOND TOO LATE AND BECAUSE HE HAS DARKER SKIN" *shook* The Cops are walking back over to him and were trying to calm this dude down so he himself isnt arrested. A couple of our friends bailed when they saw the cops and well I didnt feel right leaving this drunk dude sobbing on the sidewalk. So me,A and J sympathize with the guy, all of us have/are in bi-racial relationships and have had first hand experience with racism (whether that be the case here or not) and because he was drunk and emotional decided to try and make sure this drunk dude didnt A.Get arrested with his friend and B. Made it home ok. So we eventually calm him down some (not a lot-He was still yelling in the streets about how his dad is rich and how hes gonna get a lawyer to fuck them in the ass*side note really hard not to laugh when someone is yelling this...go a head and try*) and we start walking him home because he only lived a few blocks away. Now A is not someone to be fucked with. Shes not very tall but what she lacks in height she makes up for in strength, like legit when shes mad shes terrifying and J is 6'1'' and also intimidating AF, although as soon as you hear her talk she is the sweetest person in existence-still wouldnt fuck with her tho, So walking this very drunk dude home wasn't frightening to me at all and we wanted to make sure he made it ok. So were walking and he is telling us all about his "dark skin" friend (his words not mine). Talking about how they picked him because of his darker skin, how he just got a job in DC and now the police are trying to ruin his life with this charge,etc. And we are deeply sympathizing with him, no one wants their life to be ruined and this is his friend he cares deeply about. We continue to walk and listen to drunk dude vent about racism and because hes Jewish he cant really relate but he has friends who suffer and the world is evil, etc. All the mean while I am also keeping an eye on my surroundings and making sure I myself will not be murdered. Well then I notice a car pass by and then stop and make a U-turn. So Im thinking A. Were about to get kidnapped or B. its someone who knows this drunk dude. I see a guy lean his head out and call drunk dude whos name is Bobby apparently. Bobby realizes that his friend is not in fact arrested, but has been released and is sitting in front of him and loses his god damn mind. He drops to the ground crying thanking God his friend is ok,etc. And it would have been a really sweet moment for all except we noticed something about his "dark skin" friend. He wasnt dark skinned at all. I am looking at A and J while were simultaneously trying to load Bobby into the car, and I am saying "you see this white dude" with my eyes. Bobby and his friend are talking about Bobby says "I am so happy they released you because they're racists and only arrested you because you have darker skin" to which his friend responds "I am greek and Italian, Thanks Ladies have a good night" and they drive away. At this point all I could do was laugh my ass off. Now when you yourself are very white and saying your friend is dark skin I am expecting to see someone who is at least a smidge darker than you. We were all thinking "Ok this guy is african american or hispanic" Nope dude was as white as me. So our catchphrase for the remainder of the night was "fuck you Bobby" of "Fuckin Bobby". That ladies and Gents is some Downtown Melbourne Night on the town drinking stories I could not make up even if I tried.